Friday, June 30, 2006


Thanks to fellow blogger “b.”, here is another fun questionnaire for people to copy and fill out as they like.

Side note: There is another fun questionnaire under my Archive – “October” blog if you would like it. Also, the reason I freakishly leave these questionnaires blank yet still insist on keeping them on my site is because (besides the fact that I like to keep KINDA private)…

I remember a few months ago I was after these questionnaires online (having received some via email yet I so-typically-of-me deleted them and then months later wondered why I deleted them). I was frantic to find one, wanting my then-husband-to-be (now-Husband slash Gangster) to fill it out. How else would I find out corny and useless facts like what his favourite flower is, or what’s his fav chocolate lol, or some juicier stuff like -- has he been in trouble with the law? Has he got a tattoo, etc. Mind you, there was no REAL juicy juice I found on him after all, well, maybe just a tiny bit *evil laugh* (hooray, I finally got my dream “bad boy”), well not really, but it makes me feel good thinking that *shrug*. So, Google I did. I G-oooooooo-gled my lil green eyes out with phrases such as “fun questionnaire”, “fill in questionnaire”, “email questionnaire” yet nothing came up. Now months later, finally with two questionnaires under my belt, I am feeling fairly pleased with myself. I figure that some poor soul will be out there doing the same thing as I was doing, searching Google for these questionnaires. I am hoping they find some luck in coming across them on my blog :)


1. What is your middle name?

2. How big is your bed?

3.What are you listening to right now?

4. What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?

5. What was the last thing you ate?

6. Last person you hugged?

7. How is the weather right now?

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

10. Favorite type of Food?

11. Do you want children?

12. Hair color?

13. Do you wear contacts?

14. Favorite holiday?

15. Favorite Season?

16. Have you ever cried over a love lost?

17. Last Movie you watched?

18. What books are you reading?

19. Piercings?

20. Favorite Movie?

21. Favorite college football team?

22. What were you doing before filling this out?

25. Favorite animal?

26. Favorite drink?

27. Favorite flower?

28. Have you ever loved someone?

29. Who would you like to see right now?

30. What color are your bedroom walls?

31. Have you ever fired a gun?

32. Do you like to travel by plane?

33. Right-handed or Left-handed?

34. If you could go to any place right now where would you go?

35. Are you missing someone?

36. Do you have a tattoo?

37. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?

38. Are you hiding something from someone right now?

39. Are you 18?

40. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?

41. Are you afraid of the dark?
42. Favorite hangout:

43. 3 things you can't live without?

44. Favorite songs?

45. What are you afraid of?

46. Are you a giver or a taker?

47. What are your nicknames?

48. What is your dad's middle name?

49. What do you sleep in?

50. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing?

51. Favorite TV commercial?

52. First thing you'll save in a fire?

53. What is your favorite color?

54. What are the things you always bring with you?

55. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

56. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on?

57. What color is your bedsheet?

58. Who do you want to meet?

59. What do you think about before you go to bed?

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Content :)

Okay, so I have my mojo back to write. Whether my stomach is happy with that or not, I will never know because I just heard it growl at me. But that could just have something to do with the gastro I am probably getting.

So I type, admiring my engagement and wedding bands as they glimmer under the office lights. Having not taken my rings with me on my honeymoon, I have found that since I returned and began wearing them, I have become hypnotised by them. I have never been big on jewellery – but getting used to wearing a bit of bling was almost a natural transition from ‘clearly single’ to ‘look at me, I’m a princess’. Alright I am kidding. But I do become quite a bimbo when I start discussing my rings. I better stop. I better say MashAllah also.

As for an update on the wedding, honeymoon and married life?

Wedding: Alhamdulilah I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day (everything went according to plan!), and most importantly, I walked away knowing I made the right choice in marrying a man I could have only dreamt of previously.

Honeymoon: Again, SubhanAllah – perfect. If anyone wants suggested honeymoon destinations, just ask me. Three weeks in Malaysia was divine. We found a remote place for swimming, we ate like we’d never eat again and we spent the trip laughing like children.

Married life: What married life? We got divorced. And this was all before our 2nd month anniversary. Haha – kidding. SubhanAllah, Alhamdulilah, Allahu Akhbar. Being married to the right person is incredible. Alhamdulilah we have a very good understanding, get along like a house on fire and almost identical outlook on life.

How’s that for a summary on ‘my life’. That’d be a first for me. Usually I just cannot stop typing. However, I know I feel content enough with fewer words this time. Content is how I feel. Alhamdulilah.

Monday, March 27, 2006


I figured that it was about time that I wrote again. Lately I haven’t found anything ponder-worthy to write about. I have no small observations about my surroundings, because I am feeling oblivious to my surroundings these days. I am on such a high, and so in love, Alhamdulilah. I am feeling cocooned right now, feeling my emotions really deep, having never experienced anything like this, ever. I am so in love that I just feel like spreading the joy a little.

There are now six weeks left until my wedding! :)

I said to my fiancé last night, that I still cannot believe I am getting married to the man I met only a few months ago at a group dinner. I couldn’t believe that the man standing in front of me last night, the man I have grown to love so much, is the same smiley faced guy sitting there that night at the restaurant.

I remember his big white smile and gorgeous eyes sparkling up at me, as he replied “Wa alaikum salaam”. My first reaction was “wow”, followed by an instant thought of “I didn’t know he looked like THIS!”. Chi Ching! Instant attraction. Having been introduced to him a week prior to this group dinner, I hadn’t give him a second thought as his sunglasses that day seemed to shade out every bit of the warmth on his face. It is in fact this warmth that makes him, well...“him”. I spent the whole night trying not to look at him, trying to direct my conversation to the group rather than just to him. But the more the night went on, the harder it got. What can I say? The guy got my humour!!! Did anything else matter to me at that point? lol. I recall leaving the dinner, and my sister saying to me “wasn’t he nice?”. For some reason, it took her to ask me that, for me to realise that “I really, really like this guy!”. And that doesn’t happen with me. I rarely find guys that I “click” with. Nevertheless, clicking with a random guy that I had just met.

It is amazing how naseeb works out for people. Subhan’Allah. I used to think to myself “I wonder who I will end up marrying”. The possibilities are endless. I also used to ask myself, “will I ever get married?”. Not that it was ever a pressing issue for me, nor for my parents, but still, it was a thought that crossed my mind every now and then. And to think that I had no idea my naseeb lay with an Englishman. Those damn foreigners, coming into MY country, stealing MY heart away! :P...

Back to the talk on cacoons earlier: I am currently feeling cocooned with my thoughts on him, my feelings, and my need to be around him all the time. But going back only a few months ago, I was cocooned in a different way. I was cocooned in thinking and believing quite strongly (although they were always ‘unspoken rules’ in my mind), that my life was permanently fixed in not only Australia, but in Melbourne to be exact. My world up until now has been my family, and I cannot be blamed for not knowing anything else. And Alhamdulilah, what a beautiful family I have! Yet I made the most adult decision of my life when, with the support of my parents, I agreed to the possibility of letting go of my attachment to them, to the rest of my loving family, and life as I know it in gorgeous Melbourne. Accepting my fate with finding the man of my dreams was the easy part, yet accepting my fate could perhaps lie in a world foreign to my own, took a while longer to comprehend.

We are told to put our trust in Allah, and although I believed and still do believe this strongly, I don’t think I wanted to believe that Allah would intend for me to live abroad for a while. I guess I wanted everything: I wanted to be with my family, be with my man, and be in Australia. I then realised that it seemed I could only have 1 out of 3 of my favourite things, with the 1 thing being: my man. I then had to comprehend that finding the love of my life and starting a life with this man will take precedence above all else. And so it should I realised, seeing that InshAllah one day I will start my own family with him. InshAllah my family will always be there to love and support me, so it was time for this bird to leave her nest and fly. And by me putting my trust in Allah, and believing that I have always been a devout servant, InshAllah wherever my life leads me, will be in the best direction for my deen. I have always wished for nothing less in a partner: someone who would support and encourage me Islamically, and someone whose character is so delightful that he makes me smile and laugh everyday. Alhamdulilah, so far I have found both in him.

Everyday I ask Allah for guidance. I ask Allah: “if (my man) is good for me, my religion, and my livelihood in this life and in the hereafter, then make it easy for me, and bless me with it, but if he is bad for me, then turn him away from me...”. If he was bad for me, I have figured that we wouldn’t have come this far. The only barrier (massive barrier as I saw it) that was prominent from the beginning was the fact that we are both from opposite ends of the globe. But SubhanAllah where there’s a will, there’s a way. The major barrier now InshAllah appears to be lifted due to sacrifices on both of ours parts. And no, it won’t be easy for either of us, yet InshAllah I am hoping Allah will make it ‘easier’ for us as our love and respect for each other grows.

SubhanAllah, such a brilliant walk of life has walked my way. He has made me the happiest I can ever recall being.

Allahu Akbar.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Work no more...

I have always been one who has the worst of timing. When I should be washing the dishes, I am upstairs praying (okay, I decided to show a positive example first up!). When I should be sleeping, I am pampering myself; when I should be spending time with my mum, I am on the phone to my fiancé; when I should be working, I find myself filing my nails, and when I should be finishing off a major project here at work – I find myself with an unforgiving and untameable desire to post a new blog.

Today’s blog was prompted by my solemn mood. My solemn mood was prompted by my general manager, yet the whole situation was prompted by me. Sorry, that sounded confusing. Too much prompting is going on.

I had a meeting with my general manager today. I knew this was coming and in a way I was glad to get it all out in the open. In summary, the push for my wedding to be sooner rather than later, as well as my uncertainty as to which country I will be living in within a few months has crushed my chances of having a long term career within this organisation. *sob* (okay, I am faking that sob, I am really not too fazed). I don’t even know why this solemn mood came about. I am the one who prompted (there goes that word again!) him to make my last day here at the end of April…

Maybe I wanted a miracle subconsciously. Maybe I wanted him to turn around and beg me to stay. I know he wouldn’t – but it would be nice. Maybe I don’t know what I am on about because I am sleep deprived.

Anyway – everything is predestined to happen, so InshAllah this is for the best. Time will tell.

Wedding update!

Wedding update!

It takes people months and months to organise weddings. Actually, it can sometimes take people years and years! I believe people get so carried away with the kafuffle of the day, that they forget what the meaning behind the wedding is. Isn’t marriage all about the union of two souls? Isn’t it about the special bonding of two people because they share a life long commitment to be faithful to one another? And from an Islamic perspective, marriage completes half of one’s faith.

So while all other people pull their hair out, me and my homeboy have almost organised everything for our wedding in ONE WEEK! Alhamdulilah. And that isn’t us cutting corners either. If we had 2 billion months to organise the wedding (as opposed to our 2 month dead-line), I can imagine our selection of cake, invitations, photographer and so on would have been almost identical. It is just that people like comparing, umm’ing and arr’ing about things and that is how wedding planning can drag on. My man and I are similar in that we don’t like to waste time over things. If we like something – we will place the order!

My dress is on its way (currently in the making), invitations are being sorted tonight, and we are about to put the deposit down on the photographer and videographer. There are other bits and bobs that are also currently being paid for/confirmed.

It is all happening! Alhamdulilah, Alhamdulilah, Alhamdulilah – so far everything is going swell. (Mind you, I never use the word swell – it just seemed humorous and fitting to slip it in).

Monday, February 27, 2006

External appearances

I am sitting here wondering how much a person’s external appearance can affect their behaviour.

I know as a female who wears the hijab, there is never a moment where I forget that I am representing Islam. I am always ‘myself’ yet I am a lot more controlled in the way I speak in public, and more importantly, I make sure that my behaviour and actions are that which represent Islam. I enjoy breaking down stereotypes of Islam, showing how content I am with my faith, and educating people who are curious about learning more on why I am a practising Muslim and what our belief entails.

This topic was triggered off in my head because I noticed the difference in character of one of my colleagues. As an introverted tobacco smoker who seemed kind and thoughtful, he occasionally chatted to me, making small talk here and there. But then the chin ring came along. This tiny pointed metal device inserted into his chin has turned him into an introverted smoker with a “bad boy” attitude.

So, getting back to the topic at hand - has his external appearance affected his behaviour? I wonder whether he is simply going through a rough spot in his life and this is making him appear to be gloomier than usual. OR, whether his chin ring has made him believe he has to adjust his behaviour to suit some rebellious heavy-metal-loving-dungeon-living-weed-smoking-dragon type of profile.

Whatever is the case – only time will tell.


I’m craving a donut.

So much for fruit and vegies being filling!

I rarely crave donuts. Weird.

My mum is making my favourite cake tonight: “peanut butter cake”. It is so delicious!!

Forced feeding

The fruit and vegetable eating isn’t going all that great. My bananas have turned brown from the air-conditioning unit being switched off during the weekend. On my second day into my increased fruit and veg eating intake, I was told by a colleague that I should limit my fruit intake because fruit is high in natural sugars, and increase my vegetable intake instead. You can imagine what that did for my motivation.

Oh, it is my birthday today. Happy birthday to me! I just had a flashback of my birthday last year. I remember I was crying. InshAllah this birthday is a much happier one for me.

As I sit here eating my sweet corn and four bean salad for lunch, I am finding my swallowing to be almost forced. I’m not tracking too well with my healthy eating campaign, am I?

The scent of vinegar from my salad bites at my nostrils. Ewww.

I’m looking forward to some proper food tonight at the restaurant :)

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I got 5 on it

I have never been a big fruit eater and I am unsure sure why that is the case. I was told from a very young age that “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”. Well isn’t that ironic. I was never a fan of apples. I rarely ate them. If the formula is: not eating apples = increased exposure to doctors, then this formula in my case has sorta proved true. In which way exactly? Well Alhamdulilah I have always been quite healthy hence hanging around doctors has never been my “thing”. The reason I bring this up is because my fiancé is a doctor. Not eating apples does have its benefits that means. I won’t tell any young children that however ;)

I decided today (yes, spontaneous decision as always) that I wanted to incorporate more fruit in my diet. Why? Well yes, I rarely eat fruit! (unless it is chopped up into pieces and hand fed to me by my mother. Okay, I’m kidding. Well, kinda). Plus a “5 a day” campaign was released by the Department of Health in the UK (I stumbled across a website) where they promote the healthy eating of 5 pieces of fruit/vegetables per day. What portion of fruit/veg and the types of fruit/veg were outlined on the handy website. This inspired me to head out on my lunch break (okay, it was my second lunch break for the day) to the nearest supermarket and make some fruit/veg purchases. I like to work with the “convenience” motto. If the fruit is sitting there on my desk, I will eat it. If there is nothing sitting there calling out at me, I will probably crave chocolate (and devour it) or just starve until I get home (and home is a 1 1/2 hour drive!).

I even purchased a fruit bowl so as to make everything look pretty! So far so good. I have already had 3 out of the 5 recommended servings of fruit. When I get home I might have some vegies so that I reach the “5” quota.

If I keep this “5 a day” policy up, I will be most pleased with myself. I might even incorporate this into my life as a lifelong change. How cool would that be? 5 portions of fruit/veg a day, 5 daily prayers, giving high-5’s to myself for self encouragement, watching “Hi-5” on DVD with my nephew, and listening to “I got 5 on it” by Luniz…

Sounds like a plan.

I’ll keep you posted.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Cake anyone?

“Why do I even bother?” I am left thinking to myself.

I organised a nice healthy salad sandwich for work today. I kept everything wrapped up until lunch time and then made the sandwich up fresh (I’m not a fan of soggy sandwiches). It was great. It was filling. It was healthy. I have also been going to the gym (last week was a bad week so that doesn’t count, and this week isn’t going much better).

OKAY, so I am getting married (INSH’ALLAH) and although Alhamdulilah I am a small-ish frame anyway, I decided I have to either lose a lil or maintain my weight (a decision made at about 1am before I went to bed this morning). Hence this is where the healthy salad sandwich came into it. Hence how I felt so good about myself all afternoon, gloating over my new healthy eating habits – thinking this is just the beginning of bigger and brighter days for me.

Then the evil piece of cake sitting on the desk behind me tempted me like crazy. It whispered words of desire to me. Okay, that just sounds creepy. Basically it told me that I am thin anyway so I can afford to eat it. It whispered the words “mmmmm” alongside the words “butter”, “tasty”, and more “mmmmmmm” sounds followed. So, eat it - I did. The coconut butter rich cake was indeed a pleasure to my tastebuds.

The problem now remains around me trusting myself again. I have very little self control when it comes to sweets – I am the first to admit that.

The only way to go is if these tantalising tastebud tricksters are out of my way. The only reason this cake was here was because a lovely lady from work baked it for me (she even made sure all ingredients were halal!) to congratulate me for getting engaged.

Tomorrow I will wake up at fajr (prayer) time, and head off to the gym. I will make sure there is no cake waiting for me when I get to work. If there is…I am in BIG trouble! (and big, is NOT what I want to be!).

Im in love!

Alhamdulilah I was fine being single there for a while (between people’s kind yet disastrous attempts at match making me) but knew it was time to settle down sooner or later. I always thought that if I couldn’t find the right guy, I’d just ‘settle’ for someone who InshAllah had faith and would be a family oriented guy (yet I possibly wouldn’t be head over heels in love with him). Islamically I know that marriage is supposed to complete half of one’s deen (faith). So yeah, I thought if I couldn’t find the right guy in a few years, I would do the right thing Islamically and settle for someone who would basically help me complete half of my deen, and that I would grow to love. What an old fashioned mentality for such a modern day girl! (ha!).

BUT low and behold, I ended up finding someone who will InshAllah complete half of my deen AND who I will love forever and ever. Corny *spew*, yes, but let me tell you, I couldn’t have wished for anything better than this to happen. Alhamdulilah.

I’ve heard the word ‘love’ thrown around here and there from a very young age. Every song on the radio pretty much sings about it. As was highlighted by my man, the song So Sick by Ne-Yo sums up the topic just about right: “and I’m so sick of love songs, so tired of tears…” I used to wonder what all of the fuss was about, but at the same time I knew that it must be amazing otherwise the whole world wouldn’t talk about it so much.

And now here I am with the beginning of what I believe is the feeling of ‘love’ in my heart. And here I sit, thinking about this feeling, and thinking to myself “so, is THIS how love feels?!”. It is such a lovely feeling inside, and Alhamdulilah I feel so content and happy. I know that these are still early stages, but they are ‘sure’ feelings within myself, and my gut feeling alongside my emotions tell me everything I need to know rather than my brain. Brilliant! Usually it is my mind that controls everything but Alhamdulilah this is the first time in my life that I have let the iron walls down from my heart and this Ice Queen that I have evolved to be, is finally starting to melt. Either that, or the air-conditioning unit at work isn’t operating properly again (and no, this is NOT an opportunity to ask “aren’t you hot?”).

So, for some breaking news: on Valentine’s Day, I was formally proposed to by my man!!! I should really start calling him my fiancé now. I love that word. I love the way the little tick flicks up on top of the “e” in fiancé and makes it look and sound so fancy. Oh, and of course, lest I forget the most important factor: it means things are more official between us, as we have both made a commitment to marry one another!

Wow. He will be the man that I will spend eternity with InshAllah. Nothing makes me smile more than the thought of that.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Fire! Fire! Fire!!!

My sister, an amusing character by nature, called me up and startled me the other morning as I was driving to work. "I am attending a protest at Parliament House", she claimed. Thoughts ran through my head as my heart ached at the thought that Melbourne was going to see uproar over the Belgian newspaper that published cartoons of Prophet Muhammed. "Is the protest over the cartoons?" I asked her sadly. "NO!" she shouted. She then continued by saying "it is the fire fighters protest over work conditions". Confusion kicked in, followed by laughter as she said with much glee, "there will be firemen everywhere!!"

My sister’s history of liking firemen started many years ago. It had something to do with the TV series Third Watch, pretty boy Jimmy who was a fire fighter, and his amazing dimples.

It still makes me smile at how I thought of one protest, and she was thinking of another.

*smirk* (oh, is that a dimple?) ;)

Irony and the lizard

"Don’t rubbish our wildlife", was the sticker placed on the back of his white beaten up sedan. Alongside the sticker text was a cartoon of a lizard that could be seen with his upper half caught in a soft-drink can left lying on the floor. “Littering fools!”, the greenies would cry! It struck a cord with me also, as I sat there in traffic disgusted at how our rubbish could harm innocent wildlife.

Then the irony of the situation kicked in. When the sedan took off as the traffic lights turned green, white smoke could be seen blowing out of his exhaust pipe. This continued as we travelled along together, until I lost him amongst traffic later on.

Yeah, preventing littering is great. But what about the gases from your car killing our ozone layer?

Nice one mate.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Big decisions

It seems starting a life changing conversation is harder than what I first anticipated. I ran through the words a few times in my head in the car on the way there, but when I finally sat down with my man to tell him what had been playing on my mind, and what my heart had been telling me, my perfectly rehearsed lines were sort of blurted out in one go. The main thing is however, these essential words were said, and he understood the gist of what I was saying. Of course, in my typical style, I eased into the conversation by making a joke. It was simply a case of saying “actually, I wanted to talk to you about something”, where his face turned all serious and he said “go ahead”, with his heart probably racing at one million miles an hour. I followed on by making a joke which gave him a heart attack (something about me saying I was pregnant *yes, I was kidding*), followed by me saying “no, seriously, I have been wanting to tell you…” where I went right into the conversation. I made the decision in my head probably only the night before. And I made the decision subconsciously without realising it, because I was dreaming at the time when the decision was made.

I prayed ishtikhara the night before, as I had the previous 6 nights. Ishtikhara is a prayer that Muslims perform when faced with an issue when they require Allah’s guidance. In previous nights I had some weird and wonderful dreams. Three dreams stuck out in my mind: Dream One: My man saved a lady’s life. Dream Two: My sister who is currently 23 years old was a toddler in my dream. My dad was teaching her how to pray. And Dream Three: My man said he won’t be able to see me for a week because he wanted to spend time with his OWN family. He looked obese in my dream, and as he walked away, I was making fun of his weight by acting out his large stomach with my arms (trust me to be a clown even in my dream).

But it wasn’t the dreams that led me to my decision. It wasn’t even a magical feeling that came over me as a result of ishtikhara. Everything, all of the events that have unfolded since he waltzed into my life have just gone very smoothly. And yes, the overall feeling is magical. So when I prayed my 7th night of ishtikhara, I woke up feeling great. My decision to have this conversation with him was something I just felt compelled to do.

So, what was this serious conversation about? Was it about what kind of wallpaper we will use in our home? What movie we will watch next at the cinemas? The reasons behind global warming? Or, why Humphrey Bear cannot speak? No. It was about the possibility of me relocating to another country. The possibility of US moving together if we were to marry (InshAllah). And a decision like that is almost impossible for someone like me to comprehend seeing I haven’t spent more than 6 weeks away from my family. And I could be relocating for YEARS. But I have made the decision, and this is the sacrifice I am making, for InshAllah a lifetime of happiness. And his sacrifice is even bigger, because ultimately he is going to relocate for me, and leave his life and family for ME perhaps. I still can’t comprehend that! I will have to make sure I am worth it!

So if all goes well over the next few months InshAllah, this lil Miss Veiled Ninja could find herself having a Mr Veiled Ninja by her side.


Friday, January 27, 2006

Stinking hot!!!

I am going to start avoiding Ms S from now on. I mean, I always have, but today she is really not impressing me at all. And that is me being polite. Every time I go to say something bad about someone, religious words bombard my mind. I always remember the words hanging on our wall at home. The words of Prophet Muhammed (saw), "Those who believe in Allah and the Last Day should honour his guest, and those who believe in Allah and the last day should speak good or remain silent".

But yes, IT IS HOT. Stinking hot! I am feeling the pinch of this summer. It is the hottest summer I have felt EVER. Is this due to global warming? I don’t think so. Our home air-conditioning unit simply broke down on us. Our work air-conditioning unit has broken down on us also.

I am not impressed. I am finding myself getting agitated for the smallest reasons. And Ms S isn’t helping my cause. I AM being polite. But after her one millionth question posed at me, asking "Aren't you hot?", my smart-aleck comments are just bound to come out. Okay, I agree, wearing my black light woollen jumper on a day like today wasn't very smart. But when I left the house this morning, I was half asleep, and just trying to tell myself to iron a thin cotton shirt during this frame of mind was just bound to fail.

"It is so hot!" was repeated at least 10 times earlier from Ms S sitting across the office in her singlet top. Thank goodness I have now moved desks otherwise I would be driven mad. Okay, I get the point: it is hot, so just deal with it like everyone else. You don't see me complaining! I'm a happy little vegemite as bright as bright can be.

She did get original before though. Her usual "It is so hot!" comment was changed to "It is so friggen hot!". Well done. Ten points for original-ness. Okay, that isn’t even a word. So bite me.

I was just told then that even the sight of me is making Ms S hot. YAY! Even more of a reason to avoid her.

I think I did a very good job then of not speaking too badly of her (considering). What do you say? :P

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The hippiest hippy

I am unsure how we got our hands on it, but a ‘relaxation’ cassette tape ended up in our house when we were all youngsters. My memory of this tape is hearing a creepy middle aged man’s voice alongside hearing the swallowing of his saliva so loud into the microphone that even if we bothered TRYING to relax, the sound of his loud gulps would put us off. But the honest truth is, I think we all had intentions of using the tape to make us laugh rather than relax. As a child, controlling stress is obviously a thing we never needed, and neither was imagining we were floating down a staircase or floating on cloud nine.

I remember a whole group of us kids lying on the carpet in my bedroom and listening to this tape. Usually there were at least one or two of the hippies in the making that actually wanted to relax (not me!) and the rest of us just lay there silent for the next few minutes waiting for someone to burst out laughing. This of course caused the rest of us to explode into fits of laughter also.

Those are the last memories I have of any form of meditation or relaxation. So perhaps 15 years has passed by and you are thinking I am a walking stress machine, right? Not quite. Praying as a practising Muslim 5 times a day acts as the best relaxation anyone could ever imagine. Escaping this world and reciting words of the glorious Quran, praising Allah and thanking Him for all that He has given us, does more to the soul than any gulping saliva man could ever offer.

But last night I did something that triggered off memory lane. I went to a class at my gym that assists in improving flexibility, light toning, and relaxation. The ‘advanced’ member of our class, a rather full figured lady stood right up the front. The instructor pointed this out to us; hence I was looking to her as my mentor seeing it was my first time attending. I realised I shouldn’t have bothered doing this half way through the class when my mentor could no longer pick herself up off the ground seeing she was so tired. The smirk on my face worried me, for I was scared it would erupt into laughter similar to that of my childhood.

The stretches and bending continued, breathing in as our arms arched up to the sky, and exhaling out as our arms went back down. Our thin blonde and possibly solarium tanned instructor with a shiny crystal belly ring reminded me of a white witch crossed with a love child from the 70’s. Her comforting soothing voice and enthusiasm showed through, as well as her passion for her job when I saw her holding herself back from singing the words to the track that was playing. It was quite a sight to see seeing most of the tracks sounded like wind chimes. I felt moments of guilt and unrest when my stomach began to grumble as I thought of the steak that was waiting for me at home. I smirked again at the fact that I was doing a healing class that perhaps at grass roots level would shun the killing of innocent cute animals for human consumption. To make myself feel better, I imagined my steak to be from a friendly smiley cow who winked at me as he was more than happy to set himself free and lay himself on my dinner plate.

I surprisingly controlled myself quite well during the class. Even during meditation time towards the end where we were asked to lie there silently whilst the instructor set the scene for us, I only let off a smirk or two. It seemed maybe I have finally grown up since the 15 years prior where we lay there laughing on my bedroom floor. It is amazing what age can do to someone :P

I have to admit I cheated though. But I felt better when my sister confessed she did too later as we drove home together. When asked during meditation time to imagine we were lying on a beach towel on a remote island all ALONE, I followed her instructions until I thought of a better plan. Why should I be all lonely during my time on this remote imaginary island, when I can have the man of my dreams lying down beside me? So that’s what I did. My mind placed my man by my side as we lay on the warm soft yellow sand as the sun shone down on our skin, and the birds could be heard chirping in the distance as the waves crashed against the shore.

Whilst my cheating seemed logical and within context, my sister confessed that SHE was in a field of beautifully scented flowers with her arms wide spread, spinning around and around in circles.

“How strange”, I thought.

It seems that in a competition as to who is the hippiest hippy out of my sister and me, my sister wins…

time and time again.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Halal dating

I have been so uninspired to write lately. It is rather sad that it has come to this point. I can write and write I am sure. Yet it is just a matter of giving myself a kick up the backside. Once I get started I should be fine. I will convince myself of that anyway.

Why am I writing such short and sharp sentences I wonder? That last paragraph looked rather disjointed. I will leave it that way though. I am sure that deep down there is a reason for my abrupt sentences. Maybe it is because it is Friday. Maybe it is because I am tired. Maybe it is because my keyboard is too high up, my legs are crossed and one shoe has fallen off me. Maybe it is because I have just moved desks at work. I am now sitting amongst people that aren’t even in my department. I wonder whether I will now have a bit more privacy and less people will be able to see my monitor. Somehow I doubt it. The shifting of desks did have one benefit however: it forced me to tidy up my desk!

The weekend is just around the corner. I am looking forward to a weekend of courting. Late night walks hand-in-hand, candle-lit dinners for two, warm hugs, goodnight kisses, the warm feeling of butterflies in my tummy, and feeling of my heart skipping a beat or two. Oh, well that is how the story usually goes for most people, right? In my case, yes, a romantic dinner and movie date tomorrow night have been planned. It will be just me and my man. Ahhh, did I forget to mention my brother and sister also! ;)

Whilst on the topic, it isn’t easy doing things by the rule book. But Alhamdulilah it is also very satisfying and rewarding knowing that we are trying to do things Islamically.
So if I can foresee the future correctly, as my man yawns and brings his arms up in the air stretching, then brings one arm down trying to snuggle up behind me in the cinemas tomorrow night (like in those corny American classics), I can just see my brother swiftly kickboxing his arm into one million pieces in gratitude of the love that is being shown towards his big sister.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

A call to all man haters!

I feel slightly sheepish right about now. I have neglected my blog and was just alerted by my sister that I better get my act together because my online buddies are calling me! Oh, shucks! Thank you my lovelies!

The truth is, I have neglected my blog for the unforbidden: A MAN. Argh! I can hear the screeching of all feminists worldwide. The burning smell of their bras sharply hits my nostrils. Their anti-male banners flutter high and furiously in the wind. The chanting of “All men are pigs!” pierces my eye drums as this imaginary circus of hairy arm pitted women stampedes around and around in my mind.

So, I call out to all of you man haters! I used to be one of you too!

Lately I have been preoccupied! I have been busy crushing all of my own theories on men. And I have done this without even realising it. Yes, it just happened all on its own. So while I have been busy enjoying life, the negativity that has been there for quite a while regarding men, is slowly dispersing out of me.

This whole courting phase in a relationship turns out to be much more fun than I had ever imagined. But I am usually the crusher of all fun, so what has happened to me? I guess I am just cruising along this time because Alhamdulilah everything feels so right. These feelings are new to me, having never been felt before. I have found someone that I like, without even trying to like him. I don’t want to stop and analyse. I am sick of nit-picking at everything. I just want this to be FUN, FUN, FUN! (who sounds like a big kid now!).

Just to let you know, I have never been a girl to be easily wooed into anything male related. I have always been on high alert to men’s tricks, their ploys, plots, lies, sweet words, free dinners, gifts, fluffy toys, red roses, heavy cologne, mind games and fast cars. I am a feminist, minus the hairy armpits. Well nah, not a feminist, but just a simple female wanting a simple guy, who treats her as his equal. I am someone who is not easily convinced. So even though this guy does have the sweet words, pays for dinners, buys gifts, fluffy toys, red roses, wears cologne and has a passion for fast cars, does that mean I am going back on my word? Am I going against my own little anti-male theories? Perhaps, but he comes with such a genuine quality about him that it is hard to believe that any of it is done with a hidden motive.

I make a point to let him know though, that I am not so naïve to these sorts of things. Last night when he opened the restaurant door for me and allowed me to go first, I said deviously “I’m onto you!”. Followed by “You are being very sweet now, but I will give you one more month and you will be slamming the door in my face, or rather, making ME open the door for YOU!”. With that comment, he just laughed. I was exaggerating obviously when I said that, because I don’t believe he would ever slam the door on me nor do I believe he would make me open doors for him. But I am aware that during the courting phase all of the pleasantries come out to play. Opening doors for me will soon turn into “open your own door” in an unspoken manner. Paying full attention to me will soon turn into distracted glances at passers by. Saying “no, you go first”, when we speak at the same time on the phone will turn into him making sure he gets in first…

But it is a two way street with those types of things. He is yet to see my feisty side :P

(poor dear soul!)