Tuesday, October 04, 2005

My Dear Nana

Lying in her bed with her eyes glazed over staring up high, beyond the white hospital ceiling, and out into a place unknown to me, it was declared “I can see the Golden Gates of Paradise, and the beautiful gardens!!” by my critically ill grandmother yesterday morning.

My “nana” has always been one of the strongest believers in God that I know, mentally strong, very sweet and giving, yet very tough and stern in her character at times. My nana, now lying there, I have observed to be even stronger in her belief than ever before, mentally delusional, still very sweet, yet perhaps even sterner in her character than I can remember. Her sternness I have learnt to love about this beautiful old woman, a woman who knows what she believes, and will not let anyone get in the way of that, even in her dying days. Her arms are now covered in dark purple and blue bruises from all of the poking and prodding of needles, whilst her sagging yellow looking wrinkly old skin shows the parting of the bone from the flesh without a muscle in sight. Her hands and fingers are strangely swollen, yet she is still able to lift her plump index finger from time to time whilst saying the ‘Shahadah’ (Declaration of Faith) in Arabic “Ash hadu anlaa ilaaha illallaahu wa ash hadu anna muhammadar-rasulallah" ("I bear witness that there is no god except God and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of God ").

Nana has always been scared of death it appeared. She has always been very careful to make sure she is well dressed all year round, wearing several layers of mended clothing in order not to catch the flu or a common cold. With her woolen clothing layers and heavy blankets in winter, her regular flu injections and home-made apple cider and honey medicine, she was always well equipped for all that winter had in store for her. I tried explaining to her that the flu and colds can only be brought on by catching it off others, yet she always insisted that under-dressing is the cause of these problems. I found out the other day why she was always paranoid about keeping warm. When nana was very young she had no choice but to walk through dense snow covered roads on her way to school. With the severe icy weather, she caught a condition that weakened her heart, ultimately leading her to get a valve replacement in her heart in her days living in Australia. The revolutionary treatment in Australia at the time was said to expand ones life by 20 years. My nana is still alive 30 years after this surgery was performed. A miracle indeed. Nana was always paranoid about eating healthy, making sure to eat lots of fruit and vegetables, and red meat to keep her very low iron levels up. Whenever she would speak about death, she would cry. In fact, nana always cried a lot when it came to religion. Formerly being a very devout Lutheran Christian, and later on through choice, a very devout Muslim, tears would fill her little green eyes every time she mentioned Allah’s name. I do not know of anyone as strong as she is, in her faith. I always thought perhaps she was afraid of dying, but when death has approached her more recently, it seems she is very ready to face whatever comes her way. And honestly, InshAllah (God Willing) there is no reason for nana to be afraid, for she has performed the 5 major pillars in our religion, namely: 1. Her belief in the Shahadah, 2. Praying five times a day (everyday!), 3. Fasting the month of Ramadan, 4. Giving charity every year (she gave lots of voluntary contributions as well as assisted with the building of several water wells) and 5. Performing the pilgrimage to Mecca in Saudi Arabia.

My nana taught me how to pray, she taught me several short prayers to recite in Arabic, one very long prayer also that I learnt whilst holding her hand as she walked me home from primary school, fought with another customer over a hot pink skirt she intended to buy for me (of course she won), was the one to sew my first set of hijabs when I secretly decided I would soon wear it, the one who always insisted I put on a “thick jumper” before I step out of the house, she formulated her own home-medicines to help cure my bad cough as a teenager, helped me with my German homework all throughout high school, taught me of how it was to live through WWII in Germany –how she originally thought Hitler was a good man (before he showed his demons), and how she narrowly escaped death by fleeing on the last cargo train to leave her town whilst she held onto snow covered logs for dear life.

If it is my nana’s time to go and leave us for a better place with “Golden Gates” and dark green gardens which she would admire so much (oh how she loves her gardens!), then may Allah make death approach her now, when she is in no pain, and she can go quickly and quietly.

I love you nana, with all my heart. May Allah bless you always and forever. Ameen.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Asalaamu Alaikum;

Subhana'Allah, such a beautiful post about such a beautiful woman. I am deeply moved by your Nana; thank you so much for sharing.

Ramadan Mubarak for you and your Nana.

Minime said...

Wa alaikum salaam,

Ramadan Mubarak to you also sis :)

Jezak Allah for your comment regarding my nana.

May Allah reward you and your family this blessed Ramadan.

VN

XTNE said...

Your nana sounds so so much like mine. She died almost 8 years ago and she was my best friend and such a strong woman. May we meet again.